it's been 2 weeks i was here in Perak, studying at UITM. for these past two weeks, i had admitted that i was still crawling in trying to be independent. homesick always attacked me almost everyday. i was too wilted and unable to do things on my own. i was a pamper girl who did not know how to settle things without parents.
but day by day, i tended to learn. even though i still cried each time i called my parents and always asked for advises and etc, but later on, i felt good. i took tips from my family and moved forward as long as i could.
i participated myself with my roommates and other roommates to join the lunches and dinners. during weekends, some of us went out of campus and strode around the grocery shops, cybercafes, and etc. now i knew where to buy my materials for art and where to print just in case the kiosk in campus shut down during emergency.
i spent my money wisely in buying food. it's rm5-rm6 a day. i ate with my hostel's pals so that i wouldn't feel terrible eating alone and kept homesicking. i did miss my family especially my parents. A LOT! :(
but i knew, leaving family to study away had its own reason. my dad had paid the fees for me and my parents had spent their money to buy needs for me and my family gathered together and sent me to Perak with hope so that i can be a better person and be what i wanted to be this whole time.
so, being homesick and asked for a ride to home was a bit too much actually. i had burnt away the hopes my family put on me this whole time. i was sad that i wasn't good enough or prepare to be one.
but i will try. I WILL. i love my parents and family. i will try to be independent onwards and during that procedure, there'll be times for me to cry because i needed help.
assignments had piled up starting last week. i cried for help and way by calling my dad and he never dissapointed me. he advised me on what to do. at that moment, i was feeling that i didn't things myself. i kept asking for helps but i never learnt to try.
but i will try to be independent. i wanted to be the best student for this first semester. i hope i could. BABAH, MAMA, keep on helping me. i'm sorry if i disturb you guys but both of you are the strength for me to keep on going. and do believe in everything i do here.
please pray for me too. :)