Shout out/Memo


Thursday, September 2, 2010

Silence writing

dear blog,

it's been like ages for not updating you. i was so sorry. i had no choice but to focus on my studies. there were tons of things happened during the silence of my writing here.

like i'd said before, new projects kept on coming. NON-STOP. it was like, you could not take a long deep breath after submitted the recent project because there'll be a bunch of new projects coming that will make you suffer to the higher level.

besides that, liberal lectures gave you tiny stress. Art history and another art study(i didn't remember the full name of the subject) theories were quite interesting especially art history. that was my favourite subject even though you would need full concentration during lecture because art history covered everything about portraying your opinion and criticise the paintings. you need to identify the formalistic value and content of a painting.

i had copied notes from the class but i had no time to rearrange them neither the hard copy nor the soft ones. the time was very limited since i spent mostly on my art projects. although there were weekends but to my surprise, i didn't touch any books to read or revise since the first week of lectures started until now. okay, i know you guys would say that why should i be worried about books, right? since teenagers don't like to read books nowadays but i was different. I LOVE TO READ BOOKS! :D

talking about books and reading, i went to Ipoh last two weeks with my roommates. i wanted to search books or magazines about arts to proceed with my skecthbook. i need ideas. i found a bookstore that sold secondhand books and magazines. my eyes widened. i curved a passionate smile that i had never done for months right away when i saw books. i went through the books and discovered old art articles about drawing and etc. but unfortunately, it wasn't my luck that my other pals had brought themselves away from the bookstore, living me alone in there. so, i had to follow their tails to not to get lost. i was sad. SOOOOO SAD! my mood changed into the bad ones. stupid me for being the only one who was addicted to reading. :(

i couldn't find the time to read. do not say that i should manage my time well. i did, but it ain't no good if your art projects were not 100% finished. it kept on playing in your mind, remembering the dateline. you would be struggling with pencils, cartridge papers, B3 drawing block, board, erasers, steel rulers, cutter, and MONEY during the process of finishing the projects.

in a week, i spent for about RM50++ on pencils, erasers and papers. it'll increase based on the project your on. how 'bout food? RM5+ a day off fasting month. Alhamdulillah, i managed to maximize my badget for a day during fasting month that cost around RM8. :)

next, about internet. in my campus, every dining hall, wireless was required. i went online in there to search for information for liberal classes and presentations. but now, i didn't know why, the wireless dissapeared. i thought it was blocked by the campus. shoot! i needed to go to the library's foyer to connect with the nearby wireless. the connection strenght was good but it stole my time. Alhamdulillah, i bought a broadband and happily using it right now in my room. :)

there was a time where i forgot to wear my student card for FIVE times in a row. plus, the security guards were standing along the road that i used to reach my faculty. luckily, i passed as i covered my front with my board and other art equipments. :P

my body began to wilt fast. i was too obsessed with my art projects till i lacked of sleeps and not eating right. my knees hurt since i sat on the floor for hours. my back was in pain as i hunched for hours too. my fingers and my right hand were numb. i had once stopped from drawing when my right hand froze. but later, i grabbed my pencil back and continued to draw even though it was badly hurt. Alhamdulillah, i finished my art projects.

i bought a small Japanese table last two weeks. i made the right choice. it was easier and healthier to do the projects on the table instead on the floor.

i always listened to music while doing my work. i was worried that i could damage my cell phone's battery for listening to music for a long period. so, i decided to bring along my MP3 player after hari raya.

i had no time to take care of my skin. as if i care. hoho! all i did was applying oil control liquid to my face. nothing else. no money no talk. hehe....

moreover, i attended many activities held by the campus or clubs to collect activity stickers. they were so important to make sure you'll get a place in the hostel for the next semester. if you're not concerned with this thing, you would need to stay off campus. that's very bad and i don't want to. i will collect as many as i can.

next, about clothes. my classes started at 8 am from Monday to Friday except for Wednesday. terrible, right? arrggghhhhh!!!!! so, i can only wash my clothes at around 11 am or sometimes afternoon. i was worried my clothes didn't get enough heat from the sun since i finished my laundry almost noon. sometimes evening. if i didn't wash my clothes immediately, i would have no clothes to wear and my pail will be flooded with stinky clothes.

i lacked of sleeps since the second week of lectures. it became worse when time passed by and when the level of certain projects increased. when there was a final assessment, i slept for approximately ONE hour a day. and i needed to get up early as my class started at 8 am. it's really a pain in the a**! my eyes hurt so bad and i was not comfortable to sit or stand for hours during studio period. i had bags under my eyes.

there were two neighbours of mine kept asking me if i was okay by looking at my tired face and baggy eyes. i was in a good mood that time but they considered that i looked tired.

sometimes i didn't get the chance to have breakfast. thank goodness, the lecturer gave us a half an hour of break to have breakfast.

UITM Perak was so big and HOT! i needed to use umbrella to go to classes but when i was lazy, i let myself burned by the sun. when the thunderstorm was heard, i jumped in excitement, knowing that it's gonna rain! :D

the food here was great but lacked of hotness and spices. and all i can see were chickens. every single day. chickens.....chickens....CHICKENS???!!!! arggghhhh!!!!! besides, it was hard to see fishes or vegetables for lunch and dinner. again, my food pyramid fell down. :(

i was collecting coins to get fresh water for myself. the watercooler machine gave out unhealthy water and it made my throat sore. so i had to buy fresh water from a vending machine. Alhamdulillah, i was fine with that water. but it cost me coins.

i got so many friends. friends from faculty, hostel, campus's team building and other faculty. we always hung out together at the dining hall. they were very happening and open-minded. i heard many dialects from them. it was fun to hear the dialects. :) kedah, perak, kelantan, terengganu and pahang....

sometimes, i cracked out crying. crying for help and pityness. i cried because i couldn't stand the obstacles that continuously attacked me physically and mentally throught out this days. i didn't want to worry my parents so i told myself not to call them. i told my pals about my discomfort problems but they were in the same bucket. after crying so hard or helpless in finding ways to survive, i knew something when i performed my solah. my heart was calm. while praying to Allah SWT, i asked for His help. i never missed my solah. my mom and my dad taught me well since i was a kid and thankfully, i can always depend on Him. that's the only place for me to let out my humbleness and asking for help. Alhamdulillah, thank you, Allah! Thank you. :)

i think that's all for now. a page full of everything from my mind. :) i'll try to update more since i have broadband.


  1. Here's a quote from a Korean drama: "Read books and educate your inner self."

    Don't worry, being addicted to reading or books does not mean your stupid. I'm a book addict myself, and I'm sure it'll pay off one way or another. =)

    Anyway, do you read POPCORN? It's a nice art magazine from the Asian part of the world; and it's really inspirational..!

  2. i like your work on that..