Shout out/Memo


Saturday, March 5, 2011

Don't judge me negatively

dear blog,

there's something i wanna tell you guys....this thing had been happening for years, ever since i was a kid.

here goes.....

i have friends....lots of them....before and now, it's limited. my personality is different. it's like i have two personalities. or most likely....identities?

i am a happy-go-lucky girl. i do jokes and i love happiness. i like to be surrounded by friends and seize the day with them. sometimes i want it, but sometimes i refuse.

actually, to be honest, i like to be ALONE. it's not like lonely by means that i don't have friends. i do have, it's just that i prefer to be lonely on certain time. it's so fun. i love it so much. i can do whatever i want, without other people around to notice or to judge me.

i prefer to do something in peace. without talking or without a sound. everything goes smoothly if it's this way. seriously. my work can be done in no time. and i can focus more and so into my work rather than do it in a group.

so, to my pals, if i happen to do my work alone or go out by myself without asking you guys out, do understand me. it means that i don't wanna be disturb. i wanna give myself space and rest as it should have because i'm LOVING MYSELF.

if you guys see that i'm outgoing during classes or with you guys, that's not who i am. i am a quiet person. and i love peaceful. so if i'm in a bad mood or keep silent in classes, don't admonish me or talk to me. don't even make jokes with me. i want to be quiet that time so please understand.

friends, don't heartbroken by what i had mentioned above. i'm telling the truth.

oh! and one more thing....

this thing has made me puzzled for years. i don't understand that why some people just don't seem to like me even when i never talk to them.

for example, my roommates' friends, when i walk with my roommates and stop by to see their friends or classmates, they never ask about me or talk to me. besides, they talk to my other roommates. me? like a wet panties hanging in front of them.

even when i had met them thousand times, they don't talk to me. or, they dislike me. okay, if i am someone who makes you guys uncomfortable, say it to my face, coward!!!! :(

i talk to them. join them making jokes. but still, their eyes won't meet mine. like i'm some kind of a stranger. even though they invite me and other roommates to join this one roommate's group for dinner, even if i go, they still wouldn't notice me like it's the first time we met.

silly, huh? if i live in foreign countries, those particular people would ask me anything and invite for lunch or whatsoever even if it's the first time we met.

see how Malay people judge a stranger. i'm not a stranger. i'm their classmate's friend, whom a roommate of hers too. so why should they judge me? i do no wrong, right? even a word has never been heard from me towards them.

okay, if you guys don't like me, then it's fine. i don't like you guys too and i don't have to know you guys. there's no need too. i would prefer be quiet and usually, friends come to me.

you don't know me,
just shut up, guys.....
don't judge me negatively.

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