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2014???

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Only Human

dear blog,

the title seems familiar for 1 Litre of Tears's fans.....yeah, i watched the series for like the tenth time.

why?

because i sometimes relate myself with the main character. i thought i was the same like her, suffering all the sadness and obstacles ahead. but instead, as i replayed the same series again and again, i realized, the main character inspired me a lot.

and she was the warrior. even though she was suffering a disease that couldn't be cured, she was still fighting to live because she knew, there's an open door for her. she kept on trying and trying and tears accompanied her through all those journeys.

and i believe...tears are the words the heart can't express.

because when you walk the journeys with walls that never gives you the chance to pursue, even when you're thinking that you're strong enough, tears will never leave you....

i know you guys will say, 'smile'....

i do smile....in front of my friends...and when i think i need it....

but i cry because i've been strong for such a  long time....

this semester gives me too many obstacles that i never know will come to me in such a way.

yesterday, alone in my room, after i performed my Magrhib solah, i read Yassin. everything went well but suddenly, in the middle of my reading, tears flooded my eyes. i didn't mean to. i was okay before. but i didn't know why.

i read with crack voice and tears kept on flowing down my cheeks. after finishing my read, i prayed to Allah SWT. and tears felt non-stop.

from that on, i knew, nothing other than Allah SWT, can make you shade tears after reading that beautiful, sacred surrah. and it showed how tired i was after having all those troubles starting from early of this semester until i never got the chance to read Surrah Yassin.

and last night proved it all. Allah SWT is the place for me to express my deep feelings that no one knows. Allah SWT knows it all.

4 comments:

  1. Betul tu, hanya kepadaNya tempat mengadu.
    dan Dia juga Maha Mendengar lagi Maha Mengasihani..

    p/s: Spinocerebellar Degeneration Disease was the name, love pronouncing it

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  2. you're strong...that is why Allah SWT give you this test because you can face it.insyallah you can do it next semester too and don't regret your choice to continue your diploma rather than fast track

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