i'm going to write about what's in my mind right now.
it is about the old days. suddenly, after thinking about what is happening to me now, i come across to what i was before this. especially when being a young girl.
okay, let me tell you guys about the true story when i was a young girl. i pick an age. let's begin with when i was 10 years old. since 3 years old, i liked to draw. every single time. i could only see papers and pencils in front of my eyes every time i woke up from sleep. okay, during 10 years old, i grew with a surrounding filled with animes, comics and games. like usual, i still kept on drawing.
when i was 12 years old, my passion towards drawing grew bigger than i expected. with friends whom shared the same hobby which was watching anime and drawing, i felt like i was in a fantasy world. with good grades for upsr, my dad bought me a tutorial book of 'how to draw manga' and a huge sketch book. to me, those were gifts that i thought really teach me to love my hobby much, much more.
i began to spend most of my time with the tutorial book and the sketchbook. day and night. i even brought them during 'balik kampung' for hari raya.
when i hit 13, i started to explore more by observing the comics that i bought, mostly Gempak magazine. i had almost hundreds of Gempakstarz magazine collection and each day, after school, i would flip through the magazine to read the comics. and when my homework was done that night, i flipped through the magazine again and observe the comics, wishing that i could make a comic of my own one day.
and that desire brought me to try using drawing pen to draw. just like the manga artist out there. after one try, i craved for another. it didn't work out well for my first try but i kept on practicing. during that time, my family was not that rich. just regular. and i knew i could not ask for more drawing pen.
but it did not stop me from getting a new one. so i ate so less during recess time at school. sometimes i skipped it. just to buy a new set of drawing pen. see? just how passion and ambitious i was during that time compared to now.
when i started to know that my friend wrote her own stories when i was 12, i began to try that new thing. i searched for an empty exercise book and wrote the introduction on one page. then i tried for two. then three and more. and now, it's a hobby. it became my second hobby.
just like drawing, i write every single day, day and night. when i got bored from drawing, i turned to writing. when it's time to draw, i left writing for a while.
sometimes when i write, i had once daydreaming about becoming an author or even a scriptwriter...anything that involve creative writing.
for reading, since childhood, i never leave books behind. they are like my pals. when i start to read a book, it drag me to read another one or two. in a week, i would read three books. love it so much.
until i could write a song lyrics. i had two...but i lost them when i moved in to a new house. so i forgot some of the lyrics.
during these childhood and teenager days, i never cared about over-sleeping. it's hard for me to feel tired. even though it was tough at school for the day, at home, i still have that energy to spend my time with my hobbies. always at the desk. drawing, reading and writing. apart of reality world, i would open up my own world just to satisfy my desire and passion towards arts and literature.
even though i spend much of the time with my hobbies, i still do my homework and revision. it's balance.
what happens now?
i'm like a different person. even though i'm taking fine arts, i seldom draw the characters that i used to draw before. not seldom. it's like i have stopped. it goes the same as reading and writing. and it seems like i always procrastinate my work. and my skills go low. so low until it boost down my confidence and the passion.
and i prefer to sleep whenever i have leisure time. i'm like a heavy-sleeper now. i sleep like three times a day and it makes me so weak during the day. besides, since i have my own personal laptop, i'm beginning to spend my time more on watching movies, dramas and online.
none of my hobbies are there.
this thing happened when i entered campus life. campus life is a journey that needs you to be independent and do more assignments. which makes me so busy.
but when i think about it, it's not that i'm busy. it's just that...i procrastinate things. and it leads me to do last-minute work. and last-minute work requires hours of no sleep. and it gets me so tired the next day and makes me want to sleep most of the time.
help me please....i don't know how to start loving my hobbies again. when people ask me about my hobbies, the answer that i give to them is like a lie...a one...fat...lie....
can someone help me?
i want the old me...:(